This is what you should know about why Barcelona lost.

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Last week in the UEFA Champions League, a Real Madrid side seemingly (but not suddenly) unable to break down a packed defense fell just short of a spectacular comeback against a fluid, in-form Borussia Dortmund. The final score (aggregate after a home-and-away doubleheader) was 4-3; Real scored two of their three in the final ten minutes of the second leg, and if they had scored again they would have won on the away-goals tiebreaker. It was terribly exciting.

But they didn't score again. And anyway, that's not the result that's still on the minds of fans and pundits alike. While the general focus has been on a passing of the "World's Best" mantle from Spain to Germany, it's definitively not the Madrid-Dortmund result still dominating the editorials. No, everyone is talking about the other UCL semifinal. FC Barcelona were absolutely destroyed by Bayern Munich, 7-0 on aggregate. The first leg in Munich ended 4-0 to Bayern. A Bayern win wasn't a big surprise, but the manner in which it was accomplished was a real shock. Regardless of Barca's recent stumbles, prior to their meeting with Bayern they were still considered by many to be the best club side in the world; even the first leg they were still making almost-credible noises about a comeback. By late Wednesday evening, that opinion seemed (as it does now) well and truly dead. Bayern had humiliated Barcelona a second time (in Barcelona), winning 3-0 and strolling through to the Champions League final. I am going to tell you how and why this happened so you don't have to listen to what anyone else says. Germany isn't simply "better than Spain" now, nor is passing football dead. Barcelona has been headed for a fall for quite a while, Bayern have been eyeing/working toward this triumph for a number of years now, and there's a strangely unmentioned x-factor that I'll get to at the end.

Things that are not the World Cup: The Big Four

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Today begins your introduction to the God Tier. The big boys. England, Spain, Italy, and Germany. These four league-style competitions are all situated in countries that boast long affiliations with the sport. That isn't to say that the other countries (and their respective leagues) do not, but these four are a cut above in terms of quality. Their clubs pay the largest salaries and command the most prestige. Eighteen of the last twenty European Cup (a general term, encompassing the Champions League and its forerunners) winners have come from these four competitions, along with 36 of the last 40 finalists. Bottom line, here is where you are most sure to see the best possible soccer.

Things that are not the World Cup.

La Furia Roja, Spain's national team, celebrate winning the 2010 World Cup.

It's the height of summer. Your friends are suddenly and oddly soccer-obsessed. Also strangely nationalistic, often for countries in which they were not born. You tag along to escape the heat and for lack of anything better to do. You see the World Cup, and it's thrilling. Drama, skill, passion, heartbreak, triumph. It's awesome. You love it, and you need more. But those easy-to-recognize national teams only play every couple of years. In between there's a confusing mess of domestic leagues, cup competitions, continental championships, one-off trophy games, and international qualifiers. It is daunting. I remember being intimidated when I first started watching, but luckily for you I am no longer that callow, uninitiated youth.

Klinsmann at a crossroads.

USMNT head coach Jurgen Klinsmann has decisions to make.

The United States Men's National Team should be approaching Tuesday's game against Mexico with more hope than usual. Last year saw their first ever triumph against El Tri on Mexican soil. Neither country brought a full-strength side, but the 1-0 win was a fantastic occasion.

Likewise, Friday's victory against Costa Rica means that only a draw (and a point) is needed at Mexico City's Estadio Azteca.

But unfortunately, last week saw the publication of the now-ubiquitous Sporting News article by Brian Straus. The exposé revealed growing divisions within the squad and a perceived lack of belief in coach Jurgen Klinsmann's tactical acumen.

On what exactly I am doing here.

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"People ask me why I don't retire after so many years in the game, but how could anyone with an ounce of passion for football in their soul voluntarily walk away from the opportunity to be involved in this type of occasion?" -- Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson, before his side's UEFA Champions League clash with Spanish giants Real Madrid.

Ferguson has coached Manchester United for 27 years, winning just about every trophy available in that time and firmly establishing United as a global superpower. He has repeatedly defied those who see his age and incumbency as handicaps, and he now defies the broader European movement towards younger, more stylish, and more academic managers.

I harbor a strong dislike for Sir Alex Ferguson. He manages the team that I hate more than any other (in any sport). He insults referees when they rule against his players, and then insults the English Football Association for daring to punish him for doing so. He's smug, conceited, and entitled. A crotchety, wine-nosed old autocrat. And a genius. More on him some other time. Maybe.